


i never held a heart before

by shotforthesky



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 06:03:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14664816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shotforthesky/pseuds/shotforthesky
Summary: Jeremy loves his boyfriend, he really does.





	i never held a heart before

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a technical sequel to [the freedom of falling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14381823) but it can be read as a stand-alone
> 
> unrelated but the rise soundtrack is so good like whom

He was at Jeremy’s house to run lines. Well, that’s what he told everyone, that’s what he told himself. 

Jeremy had approached him in the bathroom again--it seemed to have become their thing--knowing that Simon would appreciate their interactions out of plain view, like someone could sense that something was going on between them. Maybe they could. Maybe the adoration in Jeremy’s eyes gave things away, or the way that he leaned towards Simon when they talked. But when he asked Simon to run lines, telling him his parents wouldn’t be home, his siblings would be out, and there would be no one around, he was half expecting a no. 

But it was a yes. And so there they were, sitting across from each other on Jeremy’s bed, knees pressed against each other but that was it. Jeremy knew better than to push it. Everything was still so new. 

So here he was, completely distracted by Simon, his beautiful Simon, that he barely noticed that he was talking to him until his knee was shaken and his trance was broken.

“What?” 

Simon let out a laugh, eyes scrunching as he shook his head at his boyfriend. “I just asked if you wanted to take a break, we’ve been doing this for a while and it’s obvious your head’s not in it,” he teased.

Jeremy tilted his head a little. He liked Simon like this, stress-free and happy. 

“What?” Simon whispered, “Why are you staring at me?”

Jeremy couldn’t resist. He leaned forward, shifting onto his knees as he placed a hand on Simon’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. Simon giggled against his lips, hand coming to Jeremy’s cheek. He pulled away, resting his forehead against Simon’s. Simon bit his lip, suddenly looking uncomfortable. Jeremy moved his head back, eyes narrowed.

“Hey, what just happened there, Si?”

Simon’s eyes flickered to his and a smile, more like a wince, appeared on his face. Simon brushed a thumb against Jeremy’s cheek.

“Nothing, Jer, I just got lost in my head for a second.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Simon. You know I would never judge you.”

Simon pressed a small kiss to Jeremy’s lips. “You make me so happy, Jeremy. I see you and my insides just melt but I hate that I’m doing this to you.” Jeremy opened his mouth to protest but Simon stopped him with a look. He didn’t speak. “I hate that because of me, we can’t be like this in public. It’s like...if my family wasn’t so--if I wasn’t so--”

“You, Simon, you’re perfect,” Jeremy whispered, cupping Simon’s face. “The circumstances are just terrible right now but look, we’re together and that’s enough for me!”

“But what about when it’s not? What about when you want more than this closeted relationship where we jump around, meet in bathrooms--”

“Stop! God Simon, just accept the fact that I care about you! All I want is to be with you, why don’t you understand that? Simon, please, I don’t care about anyone else, I just want you.”

And Jeremy kissed him. Simon let himself be pushed backwards, let Jeremy’s hands cup his neck and brought his own to tangle in Jeremy’s hair. Kissing Simon was like breathing, it just felt so natural and right. Feeling Simon’s chest pressed against him, heaving with every breath, was something he never wanted to forget. So Jeremy pressed his lips down harder, taking Simon’s bottom lip in between his own. Simon let out a noise, one hand leaving Jeremy’s hair to wrap around his waist, pulling him flush against Simon. Jeremy pulled away slowly, pressing small, quick kisses to Simon’s face, neck, and swollen lips. 

“I just want you, Simon,” Jeremy whispered.

“And you have me, Jer.”

Simon kissed him until their lips went numb, until they had to part for air, and pulled Jeremy down, letting him tuck his face into Simon’s neck. Simon’s hand made its way back into Jeremy’s hair, bringing his other hand down to lace his fingers with Jeremy’s. Jeremy felt his hand get pulled up, Simon lips pressed softly against it.

“Jeremy?” Simon whispered after a while.

“Yes, Si?”

“Thank you. I-I just never thought I would get this, you know, that I would get to feel something like this with someone. Deep down, I just felt like I couldn’t have what I wanted, but now I have. With you.”

Jeremy pushed himself up with one arm and untangled their hands, bringing his up to stroke Simon’s cheekbone. He kissed Simon softly, once, twice, and then he pulled back completely. 

“I’ve never felt this with anyone, Simon. This is new for me too,” he whispered, voice rough.

Before Simon could say anything back, they both heard the door swing open, a pair of shoes kicked off, hitting the wall. Jeremy looked at Simon in a panic but panic turned to confusion when he saw how calm his boyfriend looked. Simon leaned up, lips capturing Jeremy’s, wrapping a leg around his to flip them over. 

When they separated, Jeremy looked at him in shock. “Simon, someone’s home, don’t you--”

“Just a little longer, Jer. Please.”

“Okay,” Simon kissed him again, “Okay.”

They didn’t get caught. But a part of Jeremy wondered if Simon wanted to be caught. If he wanted people to know about them, even if they did start with something small like Jeremy’s family.

The next time he came over, he grew riskier and riskier.

Two weeks later, he would come over when Jeremy’s family was home, grab his hand as they went up to Jeremy’s room, kiss him with the door open, tell Jeremy that Lilette knows, that his mom knows, and that he’s done hiding. He’s done compromising. And Jeremy would kiss him like his life depended on it, like he was drowning and Simon was air, because in that moment, he was.  
And when Jeremy introduced Simon to his family, fully introduced him, with Simon holding his hand and the supportive smiles of his family, he felt like he was floating. He looked over at Simon, his beautiful, breathtaking Simon, and knew that he would never be able to let this go, at least not now. 

(And when Jeremy told Simon that he loved him, his boyfriend kissed him so hard it almost knocked him over. He didn’t say it back then but that was okay.)

(When Simon told Jeremy he loved him, they were at Simon’s car, in the middle of the parking lot where it all began. And Simon had looked over at him, staring for a few moments, before he broke out into his beautiful smile, and whispered that he loved him. Jeremy was floating the whole way home.)

**Author's Note:**

> hang with me on [tumblr](http://shotfortheskyy.tumblr.com/)


End file.
